Once in a while, I wonder if I shouldn't write stories about love. Of course, there is lovemaking, countless times.

My first love was when I was in kindergarten. I was about 6 years old….

She was my kindergarten teacher. She was half Japanese and really pretty, and had a great sense of style. When this teacher was around, for some reason I was really happy.

It was probably just puppy love. However, to me, it was a very important emotion.

Of course, when I was 6 years old, I didn't really understand what the word "love" meant. But isn't it a very important word?

When we got out of class in kindergarten and all the other students had gone home, I would stay there at kindergarten by myself. I would be there just a little longer with that teacher. By her side, I watched her figure for just a little longer.

Once, a young man came to pick up my teacher. When she saw that man, my teacher's face instantly lit up. It was completely different from the face she had when she was with me, and it was the first time I'd seen her smile.

My teacher said to me mischievously:

"This is a secret, ok?"

Covering her lips with a finger, she seemed a little embarrassed. Then she and her boyfriend started walking through the door. Their steps were lively.

I was terribly mortified.

I understood that I was still just a child. I also knew that she could never become my girlfriend. It was very mortifying, I suppose. It was the first time that I ever thought about wanting to hurry and grow up.

The first time I had someone I could call a "girlfriend" was when I was 10. Because she was about 13 or 14, there was a 3 to 4 year age gap. She was a girl who lived near me.

Because at that time I was around 160 cm tall, I was the tallest person in my class, and I think that I looked like an adult.

Our relationship wasn't an easy one. It rather ebbed and flowed, I think. Though we went on dates, they were things like taking a walk around the neighborhood or wandering around a dry riverbed. Because she had a dog, she would bring the dog along with her. Just that gave the dates a light feel to them. It was because I was just 10 years old.

However, my first kiss wasn't with this girl. It was when I was 6 years old. It made me grow up a little bit.

One of my father's friends came to the house to visit. He brought along a little girl. She was also 6 years old.

I think it was when the two of us were playing hide-and-seek down in the basement. My memories are very vague, but there were some drum bins rolled beside a rock in the garden. I am pretty sure they were drum bins.

I hid in them, and she found me there…no, probably she was the one who hid in them, and it was I who found her.

We were both very hyper. When I entered the drum, why did it make my heart start pounding? In the small, cramped space, secretly, I was incredibly smitten by her.

While playing, we both decided to try and crawl into the drum. It was dark and smelled faintly of metal. Beyond the mouth of the round drum, we could see the sunlight.

If I turned around, our bodies fit into the drum exactly, and she was right there. Her breathing was echoing. The air around us was very humid.

Somehow the burning feeling in my heart came boiling over, and I put my face close to hers, and gave her a little kiss "chu". Of course it was on the lips.

It was a gentle sensation, and it was the first time I'd ever felt such a strange emotion. She responded with the same feeling. So I kept on kissing her.

They were light kisses, but my heart was beating wildly. [lit: dokidoki] . It was an amazing first time.

Of course, I wanted to see her again, but after that time, I never saw her. However, I can't forget her.

I wondered why she never came over to play anymore.

Her father also never came over anymore. I was very concerned about this.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I asked my father.

"Who was the guy who came to our house a long time ago and brought his daughter?"

Seeming annoyed, my father answered:

"I had an argument with him, so we don't see each other anymore."

It sounded like he never wanted to see that guy again. I thought I'd ask him that.

"No, you can't see her again," he said.

I've also kissed guys. Of course, it wasn't serious.

A kiss is a mark of trust.

The first time that I was ever kissed by a guy was when I was 19. We were drinking and were about to go home.

"Ja…chu," he said lightly, and gave me a spontaneous kiss. I was very happy.

From then on, whenever I want to give proof of trust to another guy, I kiss them. I also kiss my band members at lives.

A kiss is the same as shaking hands or hugging.

It is my way of expressing my feelings of "I trust you."

When women cry? I kiss them then too.

When I was excessively rash in my car and had an accident, while standing in front of my smashed up car and having a cigarette, I got a call from my girlfriend. On the other side of the line, she cried and yelled at me.

"What are you doing?"

I will tell that story the next time.

TRANSLATOR'S NOTES
Am I the only one who thinks Gackt is overly obsessed with this girl who has leukemia who he broke up with and then wrecked his car over? He's mentioned her three times now. The only other person he mentions as much as he mentions her is Hyde. >.> Good God.

Was a fairly interesting chapter. I don't have much to say on it other than I'm really sleepy and have to go to bed XD

...though, 6 years old? o.o I was still thinking about plastic toy soldiers and Sesame Street then.

[EDIT 18 DEC] I'd just like to say a big public THANK YOU to everyone who has been commenting on this post and the last trans. I don't have time to comment back to everyone individually so here's just your group thanks from me. =P I do read all of your comments and if you address me specifically on something I'll try my best to respond, but otherwise, consider your comment read and yourself thanked ^_^

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