SHIN KIDOU SENKI GUNDAM WING

SAINAN NO KEKKA
Mission Log: Quicksilver
The Rebirth Arc

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INTRODUCTION: THE END OF AN ERA

          It's interesting that I'm writing this mission log six months after I completed my last section, but it's also appropriate. It gives me time to step back and reflect on what we did. It's impressive, if I do offer a somewhat biased opinion. This is a hard log to write, because how do you sum up a half-million word fanfic in a relatively small space?
          Sainan no Kekka is very much a part of me. For nearly six years, I've been working on it with Gerald, at times more fervently than others. I think one of the reasons I had such a hard time finishing was because I was letting go. Sainan no Kekka was started when I was in my late teens, and in a way, ending it was closing that segment of my life.
          Looking back, what strikes me is how the work reflects Ger's and my attitudes and experiences. I can tell about when things were written, what kind of world we were in. SNK was vastly different after 9-11; the story continued to change as Ger and I grew older, and lost a bit of the idealism we possessed when we started it. I wince when I read my earlier mission logs, wondering if I really was that teenage.
          Originally, the story had lots of influence based on the Vietnam War; that was the history that colored our world-views, about government power, and freedom - and where to draw the line. When we started in 1999, few people had heard of Osama bin Laden, Iraq was an afterthought since we'd already "beat them up," and 9-11 was a number people called for emergencies.
          I started SNK when I was nineteen, and my world's changed a lot since then. At that time, I had just dropped out of university and had joined Americorps. I started to take college courses shortly after, and I can see evidence of the classes I was taking. I actually remember more about the classes by reading the fic than I do looking through my class notes.
          Finishing it left me plenty of time to reflect how far I have come personally - I've got a degree, I'm editor of my hometown newspaper, and damned if I'm not relatively content with my life. I truly believe that we all find the place we're destined for, and I think that's true for Gerald, too. I think that's also true for our characters, even though they may not be thrilled where they wound up.

 
THE REBIRTH ARC: A REBIRTH OF STYLE

          The Rebirth Arc brings everything to a climax, interweaving the stories of the characters. All of our plot lines mixed, melded, and then went on their own way.
          If the Betrayals Arc was mine, then this one was Ger's. He did most of the work on the climax, which happened for two reasons: One, I don't know mecha well enough to handle it, and two, it led to a more frenetic feel. The scene in Act 12 aren't set up according to the usually SNK model of "One Character, One Scene." For 12, it worked very well to mix them up, since it picked up the pace.
          My main contribution to the final act was the culmination of the trial, the lead up to the Aidoru resolution, and the resolution of the Preventer's place during the crisis. In Act 13, we went back to our original operating mode, which managed to round the story out.
          I'd be tempted to claim that Ger and I had it all figured out before we hit the final act, but that would be stretching the truth. There were characters - Duo, Hilde, Dorothy and Catherine - that I wasn't convinced about, although I knew Hilde and Duo were together, and I had suspicions Catherine might go back to the circus. Others, like Shinobu, ended up doing something different than I'd envisioned (originally I'd believed he'd be in charge of a "renewed cartel" or become the "next Heero Yuy" but the end of Act XII made that unlikely - Ger's use of him was better than any of my half-hatched schemes). I went back and forth on Dorothy, since she could have gone a ton of different ways. Ger, of course, was always more decisive than I, and had a good grasp of the endings, although I believe Trowa's was the last one decided. Fitting, since Trowa caused us so much pain while writing the earlier parts of the fic.
          I was always amazed at what little tidbits ended up coming back and helping the plot along. Quatre's manuscript particularly segued perfectly into Wufei's scene, which helps affirm my partial belief that stories write themselves - it just takes a dedicated writer to discover them. It's the same for Gustavson's return in Dorothy's scene in Act 13... a plot thread we'd believed dropped re-entangled itself in the story, and provided more cohesion to the complex SNK world.
          While writing SNK, I found myself falling more in love with the characters. I've gained a fondness for Wufei that puts him on my favorite characters list, and I've even overcome my dislike for Zechs, which I thought would never happen. I also found myself liking the original characters more than I thought I would, particularly Helena, Shinobu, Carrington and Lopez.
          Of all the characters in SNK, it's Darkflight, surprisingly, who I most desire a happy ending for. I wrote him very rarely, but he's the character who I think went through the most hell. He lost everything - his identity, his job, his friends, his crush, his own sense of self - and had little control over his circumstances. In the beginning of Act 1, he was in control of his destiny - throughout SNK, that is taken away, crushed, and swept aside with little regard for him. In Act 13, we see him start to regain control of his life, but it's vastly different from what he knew.

 
BANKS AND THE MEDIA

          If I have a regret about SNK, it's the way Banks was portrayed. Ironically, two years after creating the character, I myself went into the newspaper business. The experience I've gained makes me wished I'd handled Banks a little more subtlety, since he comes off as a fanatic. He is, but I think the character had room to be more complex, but since I created him as a plot device, it never materialized.
          I do believe there is a balance between "the public's right to know" and the need to protect them. With the recent Bush spying programs exposures, I question more and more where that line is. I don't have the answer...if I did, I'd sleep better at night.

 
UNE: BRIGHTNESS AND DARKNESS

          Une's motif throughout SNK (her scenes) almost all had something to do with time, particularly points of the day, and issues of control. It's not until Act XI that she sees a "dawn," when she admits what she is, what she isn't, and works toward her strengths.
          In SNK, Une does not delegate well; she trusts the wrong people (Sally, and to some extent Trowa), and doesn't trust enough others who would be better suited to handling the situation. She has a tendency to micromanage, and isn't suited to running a worldwide military organization herself. Une was often portrayed as tired, running on caffeine pills and little food, and with a split-hair temper. This doesn't resemble canon "Lady Une" or "Preventer Une" very much, but it does mesh a bit with "Colonel Une." There were times I didn't like SNK Une very much, because her obsession with Treize was a bit much to stomach.
          Une in SNK ends up reconciled to both of her masks - she lacks the glasses of Colonel Une, but wears the braids. Colonel Une is very strong and doesn't care for opinion; Lady Une is softer. In the Rebirth Arc, she finishes defining who she is beyond her love for Treize.
          Une's story illustrates that it takes something special to be a leader. Une does not have that something; she lacks charisma, doesn't really like people, and is happier behind the scenes. She's an excellent administrator, but lacks the ability to persuade people to follow where she leads.
          Noin Academy was something Ger and I started bandying about seriously around Act 7, and we had a pretty good idea that Une would run it. Une's controlling tendencies work much better in an environment that can be controlled, like a military school. There are clear regulations, and rarely does "real life" go beyond the rules.
          There's some hints that Une might eventually have another relationship, most likely with Brown. Treize was the love of her life, but that doesn't mean she can't find a companion. Brown, even though he is much older, would work very well in this capacity. Just because Treize is dead doesn't mean her life stopped.

 
DOROTHY: THE CATALONIA LEGACY

          The Dorothy of Gundam Wing is a confusing creature; her motivations are very difficult to understand, and while she has plenty of skills, she comes off as manipulative and creepy.
          In SNK, Dorothy becomes more dynamic, facing issues in her personal life as well as a search for where she belongs. She ended up jumping through the most plot arcs - first her mother, then Zechs and Noin, then her plots with Relena, and finally her battle with Aidoru. I sometimes wonder if we should have used her more sparingly, but on reflection, it does suit what we know of her in GW, since she played many roles. Interestingly, Dorothy was handled by both myself and Ger - aside from Catherine, she was the one who went back-and-forth between us the most.
          Dorothy's sections often contained a sense of heritage, since she is very like her aunt. She also has blood ties to Treize, which shows the importance of "family" to an European aristocrat. Her relationship with Etille is something I see as likely to continue to evolve - it's likely that someday, he'll occupy a position similar to "favorite uncle." In some case, family can be chosen, and though neither of them have recognized it, they've chosen each other.
          Dorothy's story isn't neatly tied together. In an ideal world, she and Zechs would speak about what happened to Noin, and Dorothy's unrequited feelings, but this just doesn't happen.

 
DUO AND HILDE: THE LOVERS' STORY

          If there is a set of true loves in Sainan no Kekka, it's Duo and Hilde. While Heero and Relena teeter on the brink of "being something more," Zechs and Noin define "almost but not quite," and Helena and Shin (or Chris) showcase different possibilities of love, Duo and Hilde and the ones who make it through.
          There's a lot of kinds of love in SNK, which is surprising considering Ger and I intentionally started SNK as an action-adventure. However, love is one of the things that borders on a primal need, and it's a good motivation for characters. You have sibling love (Cat and Trowa, Zechs and Relena and Quatre and his sisters), romantic (see above), idealistic (Une and Treize, Treize and most soldiers, Sally and China), one-sided (Dorothy and Zechs, Darkflight and Atsuki) and destructive (Atsuki and Wing), and lack of love (Dorothy and Emily). And more besides.
          Duo as a teacher at Noin Academy isn't an ideal ending for him, but it seemed to be the only place we COULD put him. I do like the idea of him being a mediocre teacher, since I think he might have issues with being able with patience, since he is rather clever. In time, he might improve, but it's also likely that he decides to become a full-time inventor. The irony of him becoming a "scientist" just works for me. This was also the VERY last scene I completed, so it's what marked the end of SNK for me as a writer.
          In the end, I think Hilde ended up being my favorite character. She's the strongest female in SNK (with the exception of her brief breakdown from the Zero), and lacks the angst factor that defined a lot of the characters. She was fun to write, once we got through the initial Zero effect. I absolutely adore how she developed a relationship with Relena, and the catalyst that provided for Act XII.

 
SALLY AND THE FAILED REVOLUTION

          I knew Sally was a traitor from the start of Act II, when we were figuring out who the manipulator behind the scenes was.
          There are some "hints" to Sally's machinations that never really were delved into, particularly when it came to personnel assignments. Carrington, for example, was assigned to Une since she wasn't supposed to be able to handle stress well. There's some other things I think Sally did, but trying to completely unwrap her plot is impossible, especially with Aidoru involved.
          Sally has a lot going on, but in the end, she's another failed idealist. Unlike Treize, she lacks the ability to see "the big picture," no matter what she thinks. There's a lot of parallels between them, but the key difference is Sally acted out of her own desires. It wasn't selflessness that led her to create the rebellion.
          Sally, unlike Treize, ultimately fails because she cannot move the hearts of the people. Had she been able to convince Wufei - or any of the pilots she was right - the story likely would have ended differently.
          Sally's final scene in SNK was one that was sketched out early, probably back around Act III. I knew she was going to live, I knew Zechs would confront her from his new position, and I knew they would never meet again.

 
CLIFFSIDE, A REFUGE FROM THE WORLD

          Cliffside Heights is based upon a college campus near where I live. The area is beautiful, but also contains a sense of isolation - there's no public transportation system, cell phone service and it's set apart from the main community (a mile to the nearest store). It was the perfect place for Duo - and Shinobu - to seek sanctuary. However, neither felt truly at home there, primarily because of their life experiences.
          Cliffside is a place that is protected from the outside world, a place where children can be protected. When the crew leaves the campus, it's leaving childhood behind and facing the "Real World."
          Ilene's death, like her brother's, did have far-reaching consequences. Due to it, her father is able to stand up and say "enough." This wove into the Quatre trial, and must have been very hard for him. It's difficult to be the first voice to say "we need to address these problems." I sometimes wish Ger and I had used some more mature characters, but GW is a series of the ridiculously young.
          In the Rebirth Arc, Helena ends up in a Relena Peacecraft role. She's the one who gathers the people to her, the one who inspires them with her sincerity. Unlike Relena, she admits she is ignorant, and returns to her "childhood." She's changed, but she's going to try wait until she's really READY before stepping out into the world. I think this takes a lot of courage.
          The love story between Helena and Shinobu surprised me very much, since Helena and Chris were supposed to be a set of "true lovers." However, characters do have a way of getting away. The scene in Act 13 is a reflection to the first act, based around "everything changes, but things stay the same."
          Do Helena and Shinobu ever get together again? Ideally they would, after Helena attends Noin Academy (she is most definitely going there). However, the realistic part of my brain insists Helena either ends up back together with Chris, or just moves on. A relationship built in a time of crisis isn't always the firmest of foundations.

 
CATHERINE AND TROWA: BALLADE POUR ADELINE

          This was primarily Ger's work, but it was something we discussed quite a bit as we were writing since we kept bouncing Catherine back and forth. Catherine is the every woman of Gundam Wing, the person who's not gifted with phenomenal wealth, great cunning, or marvelous skills. In a way, she's the most remarkable, because she is ordinary, and tries to do what is right.
          Catherine, however, understands emotion the best. It's her tie with Trowa that makes one of the key changes in him, the one that keeps him from firing that missile. Catherine is also the one to steady Relena. To me, Catherine is one of the most realistic characters. She's willing to admit what she's not, and in the end, she has the courage to step away and realize she doesn't need to stay in politics, but can pursue a different course that works for her. People can affect the world around them on small scales, and that's what Catherine decides to do.

 
QUATRE: WAR CRIMINAL

          The element of the story that mutated the most while telling it was Quatre's trial. Originally we'd planned to have Une sweep in, and with help from Relena, convince the world he is innocent. However, the closer we got to the pivotal scene, the more I was convinced that wasn't the right answer, since by all definitions, Quatre is a war criminal.
          I did have the court climax, which Une in her strange amalgamation uniform and a sword, ready relatively early in the planning. However, about Act IX was where I decided to go for a mistrial, rather than innocence.
          Since the development of Aidoru, Quatre and Dorothy were both slated for that final cyber confrontation. We decided that since they both "mastered" the Zero, they'd be able to take Aidoru out together. It also reflects back to the end original Gundam Wing, with them on the same side this time. I was bouncing the idea of a Quatre/Dorothy romance around way, way back in the beginning, but Ger talked me down from it, which only benefits the story in the end.
          The final scene, "Building Castles in the Sand" was the first part of Act XIII I started - actually, it was sketched out about two years ago. A computer crash had me rewriting it. The return of Bartlett was another echo to the beginning of the fic.
          Quatre, I think, suffered from my lack of interest after a while. When I started SNK, I thought I understood the character. However, as time marched on, I lost the ability to really understand his idealism. I still like him, but he was a pain in the ass to write.

 
AND THEY LIVED

          On reflection, there are things I think we would have done differently, if we'd understood the scope of the project when we started. I wouldn't have played up the humor of some of the situations quite so much, since they do break the mood. I also thing we would have been more cohesive with some themes, such as Trowa and Catherine's story. I think Sylvia could have been better utilized, and it would have been better to create some more thorough character backgrounds before we started, especially for the originals. It was fun discovering who they were, but in places it lacks continuity.
          There's also places where I can't tell who wrote what. Ger was rather notorious for rewriting my scenes when I got lazy, but it's been so long I've forgotten which ones he "edited." There's also places where I can tell I was attempted to "mimic" Ger's style, since he couldn't imitate mine (much as I love him, he doesn't do humor/irony like I have a tendency to fall into). It was definitely a lesson on both our parts, and I think we learned to meld together nearly seamlessly in the final arc while still playing to our strengths.
          I don't believe in happily ever afters, and I think this comes through in Act 13. Instead, I believe a good story ends with a feeling of continuation - it doesn't stop when the book is closed, instead it continues onwards. "And They Lived" is the best ending I can think of.
          Sainan no Kekka isn't perfect, but it's pretty good for a fanfic collaboration. I think the lessons Ger and I learned will impact our writing for quite a while to come. I think we've discovered the "shades of gray" that exist, and it also has helped us understand that every character has a motivation, even if we disagree with it. That's one of the hardest things to write - it's easy to do someone who sees things your way, but difficult to look through another's eyes.
          Hopefully our novel will benefit from the experience we gained "world building" through Sainan no Kekka.
          We've come a long way, baby. See ya in our next world.

 
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