Special thanks to Lyra Stormrider, co-writer of this sidestory with Quicksilver.

 
SHIN KIDOU SENKI GUNDAM WING

SAINAN NO KEKKA
Reunion: Heero and Duo
Part II: Recidivus

 
The parlor was crowded, and they had to wait ten minutes for seats. It took most of Duo’s self-control to keep from yelling “BOO!” at the top of his lungs at the people who were staring at them. They were Gundam pilots, not boogie men. Most of the eyes lingered on his for a minute before transferring to Heero’s scar. It wasn’t grotesque or disfiguring, but it did attract a lot of attention.

Part of Duo wondered if he should show off some his war wounds, too. Why should Heero get all the attention? Duo had a really interesting one on his right hip from the time he’d been captured on the Colonies…

It took a few more minutes before a waitress came over with two menus in hand. "Sorry for the wait. What section would you like to be seated in?" she asked, glancing back and forth between the two, almost as though she couldn’t believe her eyes. Deities didn’t often descend to mingle with mere mortals, and she had no clue how to treat them. She recognized them as two of the Gundam pilots, of course, but if they were going to be paying customers...

"Non-smoking." Duo replied with a wink and half-smile. It was funny how things could feel like nothing had changed, but at the same time, so different from normal. When walking into a pizza parlor became a whole new experience, it was a sign the world had truly been turned on its end. "A corner booth or table, if you have it."

“Yes, sirs!” she said, and there was something in her voice that caused Duo to stare at her closely. It wasn’t fear or hatred; it was something he dreaded even more. It was hero worship.

She hustled them through the restaurant, and other diners dropped their food, and conversations stopped as they observed the celebrities in their midst. Duo cringed internally and wondered if it would have been better to have talked Hilde into making them dinner. At least then, they would have had a semblance of normalcy.

A frightening thought occurred to him then: now that his face was known to the world, would the rest of his life be like this?

Duo was surprised when Heero gave his arm a comforting squeeze before letting go once more. He had forgotten how much he could rely on Heero when things got rough. Giving the other boy a slight, wan smile, he was grateful when they reached a table in one of the corners. Restaurants often called them the dating booths, but Duo would have given anything for an ounce of privacy then.

"Here are your menus. Take your time looking and I'll be back to take your orders. Do you know what you want to drink?" the waitress asked, her voice still holding some of that awe as she spoke to them. She fidgeted with her pen and order pad, eyes darting back and forth like she wanted to memorize their features.

“Cola, large!” Duo said, always eager to go for the most caffeinated thing on the menu. He’d ignore her worship, he decided.

Heero sighed. “Iced tea, medium.” He watched the waitress scurry away before turning to Duo. “It’s been a long time,” he said softly.

“A year and a half,” Duo said, his cheerfulness fading into the seriousness that few people saw. “Good months for me, mostly, but it looks like they were hell for you,” he said. His eyes bore into Heero. “Goddamn it, Heero, why did you start drugs?”

Heero ducked his head, not sure how to answer Duo's question. What kind of answer could he give the other boy, to make him understand. "I..."

Duo sighed a little, watching this uncharacteristic behavior. The Heero of old would never avoid his eyes like this. So much had changed, in such a little amount of time. "Why...why don't you just start at the beginning? Tell me...what you've been doing since we last saw each other?" he asked quietly.

Heero looked around, and thankfully, there were no other diners close enough to overhear. The waitress had seated them in the most secluded seats. His blue eyes were shadowed and almost shy as he raised them to meet Duo’s again. “The war was over… and there was no place for me. No place for any of us. I was going to kill myself, but… I couldn’t. I was too weak.”

“You were strong,” Duo corrected. “It takes courage to continue living.”

Heero's eyes widened a bit at Duo's words, and he looked down at the menu again. "I...I suppose so. It felt like weakness though." he sighed, running his hand through his hair. "The drugs...they were...I started because I wanted to forget. Forget the war, forget everything. I did too, you know."

Duo sat quietly, which was quite unnatural for him, as his friend spoke. Heero's voice was soft, and some of the words he had to strain to hear. “You forgot me?” Duo asked.

“Except in dreams,” Heero said, and his voice was still soft. “When I dreamt, I knew something was wrong. I dreamt of you and the other pilots, and of Relena. You and Relena especially… I wonder why that was?” he said, and he seemed to become distant, as though he wasn’t seeing his surroundings.

“Because… I’m your best friend… and Relena is your destiny,” Duo snapped back, feeling wounded. Heero had forgotten me… It was liked being slapped across the face.

Heero's gaze sharpened as he stared at Duo, but didn't respond as the waitress returned with their drinks. He could tell his words had wounded the longhaired pilot, and he hated the feeling that caused to well up inside of him. He wished he could take it all back, but Duo valued the truth. Duo would rather live through the pain of truth then have the comfort of lies.

So would all the other pilots… except him.

"Here you are, and do you know what you'd like to order now?” she asked, setting the drinks down and pulling out her notepad and pen.

“I’ll have a large five-cheese, stuffed crust pepperoni pizza with extra pepperoni,” Duo ordered, then turned his attention to Heero. Something about the set of his jaw warned the former assassin that it would be dangerous to say anything about cholesterol.

“You’re eating an entire pizza by yourself?” Heero asked carefully.

“I’m a growing boy!” Duo said back sharply.

Heero arched his eyebrow at that, then turned to the waitress. "A small vegetarian pizza, without olives, please." he said, handing her his menu. Watching her leave, he pondered what to say to Duo next. There really didn't seem to be a point to going on with his story if the other boy was still upset. "You're angry." he murmured. It was a comment, not a question.

“Great observation,” Duo said, taking a deep swig of his soda without really tasting it. The surge of caffeine helped settled his nerves; he took three deep breaths, shut his eyes, and then reopened them, noticeably calmer. “Heero, how would you feel if I told you I had forgotten about you?” he asked.

"Feel?" Heero blinked at this. He had spent so much time being the Perfect Solider, the one that was supposed to be unfeeling and uncaring, that it was hard to address what he felt. "I...don't know, Duo." he finally said. He gripped his drink, to give him something to do. "Feeling is...hard. Especially when you're not used to doing it." He sighed, not sure the braided boy would understand.

Duo, though, understood better than Heero would ever believe possible. “Heero, you’re one of the most sensitive people I know. It’s your greatest strength, and maybe your greatest weakness. You can’t cut yourself off from us, because no matter what, we’re going to come back. We are part of you, and you’re part of us.” He looked thoughtfully at his friend, and stared at the scar. “You may try to forget us, but you can’t. Some part of you will always remember. Which is why drugs are so fucking stupid.”

The corner of Heero's mouth twitched as he stared at Duo. Sometimes it was hard to believe the wisdom that could come from his friend's mouth. Especially considering that Duo liked to bury his serious side under that goofy facade. "I...I've started to realize that, Duo. Now. I couldn't accept it back then. I just...I just wanted to escape...from everything that tied me to the war."

Duo didn’t release any more censuring words. Instead, it was his turn to become sorrowful. “I think we all did. I left Hilde. I’ve only been back with her for a few weeks… how stupid can a guy get?”

“I think we all made mistakes. Some were worse then others. Trowa and Quatre seemed to come through pretty well.”

Duo’s eyes hardened. “Let’s not talk about them right now. We’re talking about us, and how we are.”

Heero's eyebrow rose again at the look on Duo's face, and the tone of his voice as he mentioned Trowa and Quatre. Something wasn't right there, but he didn't know what. Being out of touch with everything hadn't helped anything. "I suppose so." He looked up at the ceiling, wondering if he should continue his tale, or let Duo tell him about where he'd been. Finally, he spoke again. "Should I continue then? You'll probably get angry again." he commented, voice flat.

“You’re always making me angry, but I’ll live,” Duo said, sighing a little to himself.

“Anyway, I went home. L1, in the Breaks- where else should a misplaced Japanese colonist go if he wants to forget?”

Duo nodded. “I’ve heard about them. It’s a lot like a bigger version of C-Side in L2… the dregs of society are welcome, anyone else will get their throat slit within a week.”

“That’s the place.” Heero paused for a moment as their waitress returned with their food, serving them each their first slice.

“Can I get you anything else?” she offered.

“No, thanks!” Duo said, flashing his most charming smile as he dumped the red pepper and Parmesan cheese over his.

Heero mutely shook his head as she asked if there was anything else they needed. He watched her walk away again before speaking. "As I was saying...I went back to L1, wanting to forget, maybe even make a new life for myself. I ended up falling in with an assassin group..." He stopped talking long enough to finish off the slice of pizza he held then sipped at the soda. Heero glanced at Duo, to see what his reaction to all of this was.

Duo wasn’t disgusted. If anything, there was amusement on his face. “We were terrorists. Some people would call us assassins already- I find it a natural progression.” He reversed his pizza and started to eat it, crust first. Classic Duo, always do things the hard way.

Wufei had been horrified when he had found what Heero had been doing for a living. The difference in their reactions fascinated Heero.

That quirky little half-smile crossed Heero's lips again as he stared at Duo. It was odd, how easy it was for him to give slight smiles around the other boy. He was so bright, bubbly, his enthusiasm tended to rub off on those around him. "Well, anyway...I ended up with Darkflight as a partner. Not too long afterwards, we left that group and formed Shadowwing on our own. We were the most sought after assassin group in the Breaks..." his voice drifted off as he remembered.

“Always the best,” Duo said. “Some things don’t change. Were you and Darkflight good friends?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

Heero, though, was become attuned to Duo’s moods, as he had been in the past. This question held meaning to the former Deathscythe pilot. “He was my partner. Aside from Atsuki, he was closest to me… but he didn’t know me like you did,” he replied. “Darkflight wanted things to remain forever they way they were- he didn’t embrace change… and he was safe.”

Duo gave a bit of a frown as he picked up another slice of his pizza. What could he say about that? "Aa." he finally murmured. "Things never stay the same though, no matter how hard you want them to."

"No, they don't." Heero agreed quietly, watching Duo. It was something he used to do when they were pilots, as though watching the violet-eyed boy would give him an insight into just why Duo wanted to be around him so much. "Darkflight...what is there to say other than the fact that his world has just come shattering down around him...and most of it's my fault? I doubt he will forgive me for that." Heero was a little tense again, just waiting for Duo to ask about Atsuki. It was still a very painful subject for him.

“I’ve done my share of world-shattering lately,” Duo said, setting his food down. On the nearest wall was an Ansel Adams print, which he stared at vacantly without really seeing the dramatic contrasts between black and white. “Ilene died for it.”

“You mentioned her before,” Heero said softly, amazed that Duo wasn’t asking about Atsuki.

“She was one of my best friends… a real vibrant girl. Sweet, outgoing, a little bit naďve, but most of the kids were sheltered at Cliffside, since it was a real elite kind of place. Actually, Helena said she was a lot like me, in some ways.

“Problem was her brother. He died in a Gundam attack- don’t know which one, but it was in Africa- the Academy attack. I think that was Wufei? Anyway, I was never there, but the point is, since he was a soldier, I very well could have killed him. And she knew it. She was obsessed with him dying. So obsessed that she helped infiltrate the base. And she died- right in front of me… Trowa thought she was going to kill me, and the bastard shot her. She never stood a chance.”

Well, that answered Heero's question about why Duo had sounded so bitter when he brought up the other two pilots. There wasn't anything that Heero could think to say. Sympathy had never been his forte, and he knew Duo wouldn't appreciate it, anyway. "In a way...I think Trowa was worse off than I was. He never knew any other life than being a soldier. But...you said you didn't want to talk about the others tonight." Heero sat back and watched Duo's expression, unsure of where this conversation was going to go.

“No.” Duo stared down at his pizza before picking it back up and attacking it again with a vengeance. That was something he had always been able to do, eat. No matter how disturbing the subject, he would eat. Loss of appetite wasn’t something a soldier could afford- after all; he’d grown up on the streets, not knowing when or if there would be another meal.

Heero watched him, silent as he finished off another slice of pizza. He didn't know what to say to Duo right now, didn't have any bits of wisdom to offer to soothe the pain the other was in. So he remained silent, glancing around the diner and taking in everything going on around them. It was as though he had pulled back into his shell.

“Let’s get out of here,” Duo suggested. “We can wander around, see how the repairs are going. Neither of us has exactly been out and about lately, and walking would do us some good,” he said. “If you’re really good, I’ll even hot-wire us a jeep,” he teased.

“That would be getting into trouble,” Heero returned.

“C’mon, live it up!” Duo laughed, reaching into his wallet for money to pay, since he assumed Heero had none on him.

Heero just said one word to put a damper on Duo’s parade, “Hilde.”

"Ah, man..." Duo mock-whined, looking at Heero. "You didn't take that threat of hers seriously, did you?"

Heero stared at Duo, until the other boy looked away and sighed.

"I guess you did. Okay, so we'll just walk around and see what's going on, the repairs and everything."

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