KASASPACE By Night~Mare rekka_shinen_2000@yahoo.com EDITOR'S NOTE: This is being posted as somewhat of a "tribute" to the "Suzaku Seishi Fanfiction Review" site run by Moonsong and the Suzaku Seishi. Some of this is based on the chat transcripts posted at that site and the characterizations are used with permission. Standard Disclaimers apply. Now on with the fun! ^_~ << FADE IN >> Ancient China, no da The Final Frontier, no da These are the voyages of the ACK Kasa, na no da. It's continuing mission. To save strange air headed mikos, no da. To seek out new roads and new seishi, na no da And to boldly da where no monk has da'd before, no daaa! *Opening Music* Da dadada da da DAA da da Da da da da da da dada daaa da da no daaaaaaaaaaaaa... Captain's Log: Star date 3924.3 no da. We are patrolling the Kutou border looking for anomalies no da. Not that I know what an anomaly is no da. Chiriko might. Ensign Chiriko: I'm not here! *buries nose in book* Captain Chichiri: *sigh* Well it was worth a shot no da. Lieutenant Tamahome: Ummm... I KNOW this is supposed to be a parody... but can't we just walk? This hat is sorta cramped. Lt. Commander Tasuki: No kiddin', my dress keeps ridin' up. Lt. Tamahome: Dress? *snickers* Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: DRESS? DRESS!? WHY THE @#($)%$# AM I WEARIN' A #$($%)@## DRESS? I SENSE HOSTILITY HERE DAMMIT! Lt. Tamahome: *laughs* Looks like he's taking over your position Nuriko. Lt. Commander Nuriko: If I could see through this thing I'd kill you. *lifts visor and pops Tamahome over the head* Capt. Chichiri: Watch it no da! You almost put a hole in it no da! Lt. Tamahome: Yeah. Then we'd all fall out and Tasuki would get his nice dress all dirty. Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: AT LEAST I DON'T LOOK LIKE I GOT HIT WITH A (#%)$# WAFFLE IRON! Capt. Chichiri: What's a waffle iron no da? Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: HOW THE )#%( SHOULD I KNOW? I'M AN EMPATH NOT A GENIUS DAMMIT! ASK CHIRIKO! Ens. Chiriko: I'M NOT HERE! Capt. Chichiri: Forget I asked no da. Number one... Commander Hotohori: Of course I am. Which is exactly why I don't see how I'm the second in command Capt. Chichiri: Do YOU want to fly this thing no da? Cmdr. Hotohori: I suppose not. *pouts* Capt. Chichiri: Meet me in my ready room for the mission briefing no da. Cmdr Hotohori: Hai Chichiri... but... where is it? Capt. Chichiri: I know it's around here somewhere no da. *digs around in kasa* Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: O_O WATCH YER @)#$(#(##* HANDS! Capt. Chichiri: *blush* Gomen Tasuki no da! Gomen! Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: YEAH? WELL YA @#(#% SHOULD BE! MY FEET ARE VERY TICKLISH! Capt. Chichiri: *face faults* Lt. Cmdr. Nuriko: Baka! *lifts visor and pops Tasuki over the head* Capt. Chichiri: I found the ready room no da! *pulls out a sign that says "Ready Room" in Chinese and sticks it on Tamahome's head* Lt. Tamahome: Hey... Capt. Chichiri: Sh! You're the ready room no da. You're not supposed to speak! Lt. ... er... Ready Room: Fine *grumble* Capt. Chichiri: Commander Tasuki. You have the bridge no da. Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: What bridge? I don't see any ##)%# bridge. Do you know what he's talkin' about Chiriko? Ens. Chiriko: I'M... NOT... HERE!! Capt. Chichiri and Cmdr. Hotohori: *inch closer to ready room* Capt. Chichiri: Our mission is... Cmdr. Hotohori: To seek out anomalies on the Kutou border. I know. Capt. Chichiri: But I thought Lt. Commander Tasuki was the psychopath no da. Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: EMPATH DAMMIT! Cmdr Hotohori: *sweatdrop* I listened in your Captain's Log. Capt. Chichiri: *sweatdrop* I knew that no da. (Suddenly, the kasa shakes.) Amiboshi: Red alert! Red alert! All hands to battle stations. Capt. Chichiri: What is it this time no da? Cmdr. Hotohori: Report Commander Tasuki. Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: eh. Just a clam flying toward the kasa. Flute boy here thought it was some @)#$ emergency. Amiboshi: It is! You don't understand... the clam is... Tomo: Ke ke ke ke. It is I! Here to make you're every fantasy come true! Tomo: Before I kill you of course. Lt. Tamahome: *rips off ready room sign* I want Miaka! All: NO! - Meanwhile on the Seriyuu homeworld... Nagako: I am running out of mean things to do to them! I've already tried to rape their miko, kissed Tamahome... and that's something I do NOT want to do again that boy has morning breath like you wouldn't believe... and had my people kill them off. Yet they're still alive! Soi: What did you send Tomo out for then? Nakago: A diversion! I need to prove somehow that I'm still a @$$#($#! Soi: Here. Try this. *hands him a long pink stick* Nakago: Nani? Soi: It's a pixie stick... you eat it. Nakago: Ok. *pops the whole thing into his mouth.* Soi: *sweatdrop* You have to take the wrapper off first Nakago- sama. Nakago: Whoo! This stuff is better then beating up Ashitare! I think I have an idea... *cackles evilly* Soi: That's my Nakago-sama. ~ Back on the ACK Kasa (ACK being an acronym for Ancient China, Konan)... (The kasa is being bombarded by projections of Tomo who are standing around and hitting it with feathers.) Capt. Chichiri: Lt. Tamahome! Phasers on stunned no da! Fire at will! Will Riker: HEY! Lt. Tamahome: GACK! WHAT ARE PHASERS NO D... ER PHASERS? Capt. Chichiri: I DON'T KNOW NO DAAA! The kasa rocks again. Capt. Chichiri: LT. TAMAHOME NO DA! Lt. Tamahome: I CAN'T DO ANYTHING UNTIL I KNOW WHAT PHASERS ARE!! Capt. Chichiri: ASK ENSIGN CHIRIKO NO DA! Ens. Chiriko: ARGH! PHASERS ARE PHOTON ENERGY MATTER PULLED FROM THE WARP CORE AND EJECTED OUT THE MAIN WEAPONS ARRAY! NOW SHUT THE @)#$( UP AND LET ME READ! Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: Go Chiriko. Lt. Tamahome: Warp core? Capt. Chichiri: Weapons array no da? (A feather darts into the ship and stabs at Hotohori.) Capt. Chichiri: Number one no da! Are you all right na no da?! Cmdr. Hotohori: He... he... Capt. Chichiri: Bridge to sickbay no da! We need medical assistance! Dr. Mitsukake: I'm right here. Capt. Chichiri: DA! Don't sneak UP on me like that no da! Lt. Tamahome: How could he sneak up on you? He was right in front of you the whole time. Capt. Chichiri: I know no da. But I didn't see him. I thought he was the view screen no da. Dr. Mitsukake: What's wrong Commander Hotohori-sama? Cmdr. Hotohori: He... he... he.... Cmdr. Tasuki: Cut you? Lt. Tamahome: Bruised you? Ens. Chiriko: Pricked you in a vein causing massive internal bleeding and a possible hemorrhage? Cmdr. Hotohori: HE STABBED MY HAIR! Lt. Cmdr. Nuriko: NO! NOT THAT! OH HOTOHORI-SAMA! Cmdr. Hotohori: THAT )#%(#( MESSED UP MY HAIR! Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: HEY! STOP STEALING MY )(#@#$(%#( LINES! Cmdr. Hotohori: *glows with battle aura* YOU DIE NOW!!! *attacks with his sword slicing the illusionary Tomo's to itty bitty bits* Tomo: You may be able to mess up my illusions but you can't get me! Ke ke ke ke ke Lt. Cmdr. Nuriko: NO ONE MESSES WITH HOTOHORI-SAMA'S HAIR! *jumps out of the kasa, grabs Tomo, stuffs him into Shin, snaps the shell shut and boots it all the way to San Francisco.* ---- Kirk: We're... looking... for some... whales... (Kirk gets clopped on the head with a clam.) Kirk: huh? Spock: It appears to be raining clams Admiral. ---- Capt. Chichiri: Well that takes care of THAT no da. Now back to the mission. Cmdr. Hotohori: *brushing his hair* Just what is an anomaly anyway? Ens. Chiriko: *sigh* An anomaly is.... Lt. Tamahome: Were getting a message from Kasa command! It's Admiral Moonsong. Capt. Chichiri: On screen no da. (Nothing happens.) Capt. Chichiri: Ahem. On screen no da. (Nothing happens.) Capt. Chichiri: Mitsukake no da.... Dr. Mitsukake: *rolls eyes* and slaps 'Screen' sign on his forehead. Capt. Chichiri: Konnichiwa Admiral Moonsong no da! Admiral Moonsong: GET ME OUT OF THIS STRAIGHT JACKET NOW! Lt. Tamahome: Oops. Finger slipped. Communication terminated. Capt. Chichiri: Thank you no da. Lt. Tamahome: We are getting another call from President Miaka. Capt. Chichiri: On screen no da. President Miaka: Tamahome! Lt. Tamahome: Miaka! Pres. Miaka: Tamahome! Lt. Tamahome: Miaka! Pres. Miaka: Tamahome! Lt. Tamahome: Miaka! Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: I'm sensin' a strong emotion here. AND THEY BETTER KNOCK IT OFF BEFORE I FRY ONE OF 'EM! Lt. Tamahome: Miaka! Pres. Miaka: Tamahome! Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: REKKA SHIEN! Lt. Tamahome: OW! YOUR GONNA PAY FOR THAT! (The two start fighting.) All: *sweatdrop* Capt. Chichiri: What do you want President Miaka no da? Pres. Miaka: FOOD! Capt. Chichiri: I mean what were you calling us for no da? Pres. Miaka: Oh. Well you have to investigate a forest being overrun by strange creatures that threaten life as we know it! Oh! McDonalds is opening! Gotta go! --> CUT TO: Shot of the forest. << COMMERCIAL BREAK >> Night~Mare: Are you tired of having to wear millions of scarves when you go out at night? Tired of coming home drained and tired from the numerous bites you've suffered? Tired of not being able to enjoy the night anymore? Moonsong: If you're tired of pesky vampires... this is what you need! *holds up a can* New and improved... Both: Vamp Away! N~M: Guaranteed to send every vampire in the vicinity running for cover. MS: Just one simple spray and it's done! No more blood draining experiences for you! N~M: Get vamp away! Only at your local Food Phoenix. << CUT >> -It's scary- -It's terrifyng- -Coming this Summer!- (Shows picture of huge shadow over Tokyo. The shadow roars.) -Prepare yourself for...USAGIZILLA!- Usagi: LUNAAAA WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (People scream and scatter.) -Coming to a theater near you- << CUT >> Mysterious Voice: Do you want to see something scary? Mysterious Voice: I mean really scary? Mysterious Voice: Look in there. *door opens* Moonsong: *singing* Saaaaailors, fighting in the dance hall, oh man, look at those cavemen go.... ChichiriSD: AH! SHUT HER OFF NO DA! Mitsukake: I can't someone stuck an Energizer (TM) battery in her! ChichiriSD: What's a battery no da?! Mitsukake: I don't know! Ask Chiriko! Chiriko: I'M NOT HERE! Mysterious Voice: Yes... with the Energizer (TM) battery you too can keep on going and going and going... MS: *still singing* For here am I sitting in a tin can... far above the world... planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can dooooo.... << BACK TO THE SHOW >> (The ACK Kasa floats over a forest.) Capt. Chichiri: Here we are no da. Any life signs Ensign Chiriko no da? Ens. Chiriko: Affirmative, Captain- there are several energy patterns in the east hemisphere of the forest that could indicate sentient life but they don't appear humanoid in origin. Capt. Chichiri: Nani no da? Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: I sense confusion... I ain't confused... I know what he said. There's somethin' in the east but we don't know what right? Right? Ens. Chiriko: *sweatdrop* Essentially... Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: YEAH! Who's the man!? Lt. Tamahome: *snicker* Not you! Dress boy! Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: SHUT UP OBAKE-CHAN! Capt. Chichiri: Don't make me send you to the brig no da. Lt. Tamahome: What's a brig? Capt. Chichiri: I don't know no da. Ask Chiriko... Ens. Chiriko: THAT'S IT! WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE TO YOU? A DICTIONARY?! THE ONLY TIME I GET ANY RECOGNITION IS WHEN SOMEONE WANTS TO KNOW SOMETHING! FURTHERMORE I'M TIRED OF TRAVELING IN THIS STUPID HAT! IF I GET KICKED, NUDGED, POKED OR PRODDED ONE MORE TIME I'LL GO NUTS! CAN'T WE JUST DO THE SMART THING AND WALK?!!?! (Chiriko's ears steam and suddenly his head blows off into the atmosphere leaving his body behind.) Dr. Mitsukake: 0_0 How am I going to fix that? Capt. Chichiri: Is it to soon to switch to a commercial no da? Cmdr. Hotohori: What's a commerical? Capt. Chichiri: *rubs temples* Itai no da.... --> CUT TO: A closed door. Yui: Ohhh... hai Suboshi... put it there. Suboshi: There Yui-sama? Yui: Haaai. Suboshi: Is that good? Yui: Very good... Suboshi: And how 'bout you put that there. Yui: Like this Suboshi? Suboshi: Hai... you're so good Yui-sama. Are you sure you haven't done this before? (The door swings open to reveal the two hunched over a puzzle. - What did you think they were doing? Hentai!) (Suboshi and Yui look up.) Yui: Eh. We're not even in this fic.... Suboshi: I think we are now Yui-sama... Yui: So what do we do? Suboshi: I know! I'll show them a few yo-yo tricks... --> BACK TO: Regularly scheduled program. Captain's Log: Stardate 37709.4 Mistukake has just finished screwing.... Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: *snickers* Log: ... Chiriko's head back on no da and we are circling above the forest... Lt. Tamahome: Make the circling stop! Please! I'm gonna be sick. Log: An away team made up of me, Number one, Lt. Commander Tasuki, Lieutenant Tamahome, Ensign Chiriko and Lt. Commander Nuriko will beam down to the surface no da. Dr. Mitsukake: Aren't you forgetting someone? Capt. Chichiri: I almost forgot no da! We can't forget security chief Tama-neko no da! Tama-neko: *dressed as Miaka holds up a sign* "Yay!" Dr. Mitsukake: What about me? Capt. Chichiri: Someone needs to stay and watch the ship no da. Dr. Mitsukake: Fine. *grumble grumble* Don't get any lines... *grumble* Stuck kasa sitting... *grumble* Should have stayed in the mountains... --> CUT TO: Seriyuu base camp. (Nakago is shoving unwrapped pixie sticks in his mouth at a frightening pace.) Nakago: Then... hee hee.... my evil plan... hee hee... evil evil evil... hee hee hee.... Miboshi: What's wrong with him? Soi: Sugar overload. Nakago: *spots Miboshi* Look! Mini-me! Yeah baby yeah! *snort* *giggle*... so evil I am.... so evil are me. Soi: So what's you're evil plan Nakago-sama? Nakago: When *giggle* when they beam down *giggle giggle* THey ain't gonna be what they used to! MWAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAA Miboshi: Are you sure that was sugar and not something else... Nakago: I A PWETTY BALLARINAA! *crams another pixie stick in his mouth and begins to sashay about the room* --> BACK TO: The ACK Kasa. Capt. Chichiri: Look! A tribble no da! Cmdr. Hotohori: Did anyone see where I put my hai... er... er... brush? Lt. Cmdr. Nuriko: 0_0. You mean it's not REAL?!? Cmdr. Hotohori: It *is* real, it was made from the finest hairs around my kingdom.... Capt. Chichiri: You mean... you're... you're bald no da? Cmdr. Hotohori: Of *course* I'm not. Don't be silly. I just don't want to go about looking like... like... THIS... Lt. Cmdr. Nuriko: Like WHAT Hotohori-sama? I'm sure it can't be THAT bad. Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: Unless you look like Nakago or somethin'... or maybe Obake-chan.... Lt. Tamahome: Hey! Cmdr. Hotohori: I really don't want to... Ens. Chiriko: Pleaaaasee? *proceeds to look very kawaii* Cmdr. Hotohori: All... all right. (Hotohori comes out. His hair his long and blond with two meatballs on either side with a pigtail coming out of either meatball.) All: NANI?!?!!! 0_____0 Lt. Cmdr. Tasuki: WHAT? WERE YOU GOING FOR THE MIAKA LOOK?!! *cracks up* Cmdr. Hotohori: It just happened one day. Shortly after Mitsukake came. I've tried everything! The color won't come out and the meatballs won't cut off! See? *tries to cut one* (It falls to the ground and another one takes its place.) Cmdr. Hotohori: It's not fair! *sniff* I was the pretty one! (Tama-neko bounds up to Hotohori.) Tama-neko: And you WILL be the pretty one! You just have to use the power deep inside you! Just open this compact and say Moon Prism Power. Hotohori: Will I get my hair back? Tama-neko: *sweatdrop* Just do it or you won't get ANYTHING back. Hotohori: If I must. Moon Prism Power! (One flashy transformation sequence later.) Sailor Hotohori: I feel... strange. Tasuki... you seem to have gotten taller. Sailor Hotohori: In fact... you all have. Chichiri: *sweatdrop* H... hotohori-sama... you... you... daa.... you... Tasuki: YOU HAVE #)%#(# BREASTS! Sailor Hotohori: NANI?! *face faults* Tama-neko: He... er... she is the legendary princess... (The still out cold Sailor Hotohori holds up a sign that says "Empress") Tama-neko: Er... empress of the moon, Horenity. Horenity: *face faults again* Tama-neko: You are the Sailor Scouts destined to protect her. Tamahome: Hey... how come suddenly you can talk? Tama-neko: Becuase I'm not just any ordinary kitty... I'm a moon kitty. Sent to help Horenity on his... her path to become empero... empress..... (Tama-neko goes around handing out henshin pens.) Nuriko: Venus Star Power! Tamahome: Jupiter Star Power! Tasuki: I'M NOT GONNA #)#)%# SAY IT OR I'M GONNA BE A #)#%(# GIRL! Tama-neko: Don't say it and Horenity goes bald and gets warts. (Horenity suddenly springs to life and presses the Deity sword to Tasuki's throat.) Tasuki: ehehehe *sweatdrop* MARS STAR POWER! Chiriko: I'M NOT HERE! (After a few more flashy transformation sequences the scouts are ready for action. Including the short... and... rather put out, Sailor Mercury.) Mercury: I said I wasn't here. *grumble grumble* Mars: #$))))#)%%%####@@@!!!!!##%#%^^# I'M A )#%)$#)#(%)(#% GIRL! #)(#)%)#)_@(%)#(%*#)%(#%*^)#%()$@_@)#%(_@#%(@_#)%~. Venus: Good Suzaku Mars, take a breath. Dr. Mitsukake: Aren't you forgetting someone? Tama-neko: Ano.... no. Don't think so. Dr. Mitsukake: *snrk* That's ok. I think I'll just sit back and watch this one. (Suddenly a huge monster pops into view.) Horenity: A monster... I shall vanquish it with my sword! Tama-neko: No no no. You're supposed to have a klutz attack. Horenity: *pats meatballs* I don't DO klutz attacks. (The monster reaches out and whacks Horenity in the face. Horenity drops to the ground wailing.) Horeinty: WAAAHHH! MY FACE! MY PERFECT FLAWLESS FACE! IT'S RUINED! FIRST MY HAIR NOW THIS! (The monster goes to attack the scouts. But is interrupted when a kasa lands at his feet. A blue haired man in dark clothes pops out of it.) Horeinty: Tuxedo Monk you're here! Tuxedo Monk: Hai... I'm here no da. As much as I don't want to BE here no da. I'm here na no da. Dr. Mitsukake: *ROFL* Tuxedo... Monk *snrk* TM: Use the power inside of you Horenity no da. I know you can do it no da. We are destined to be together na no da. Horenity: We are?! TM: NANI NO DA? WE ARE? I DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID THAT NO DAAAAA.... *goes SD and holds his head* (Suddenly there is a poof of smoke. The scouts, cat and doctor cough. When the smoke clears, two people are standing there in strange outfits- Miboshi in a cat suit is between them.) Soi: To protect the world from Suzakuseikun... Tomo: To divide all people within our nation! Soi: To denounce the god of fire and love... Tomo: To send our Nakkie-poo to the stars above... Soi: Soi! Tomo: Tomo! Both: Team Dragon blasts off at the speed of light! Surrender now or prepare to fight! Miboshi: When all this is over, I'm going to send a very STRONGLY worded letter to Watase-san about this.... THIS IS BELOW MY SKILLS AS AN ACTOR! Soi: We WILL capture Horenity! Or we aren't Team Rocket. Tomo: Hai! Ke ke... wait. We AREN'T Team Rocket Soi...we're Team Dragon... Soi: *blush* Oh... oh right.... Soi: Well in the name of Team Dragon we'll punish you. Tomo: No I don't think that was quite it either. Miboshi: *slaps head* Amatures. Horenity: Well I KNOW you want me. EVERYONE wants me... but unfortunately I have a kingdom to run. Tomo: We'll get you! You'll see! *holds up a Pokeball* Amipuff go! Soi: Hai! *holds up a Pokeball* Subotuff go! (The twins appear each in their respective costumes in SD Mode.) Amipuff: *sweatdrop* Remind me again why you volunteered us for this? Subotuff: It was either this or stay back with Nakago and his pixie sticks and you know what THAT can be like. Amipuff: All too well. Mars: HAHAHAHA! WHAT THE HELL!? ALL I'D HAVE TO DO IS #@)#$%( STEP ON'EM! Tama-neko: No! Don't you know anything?! You have to attack them with your powers! Mars: Hai! No problem! RRREKKKAA- Tama-neko: NOT THOSE POWERS YOU BAKA! YOUR SCOUT POWERS! Mars: Aww... Tama-neko: And you have to attack in order... starting with Horenity... Tomo: Could you please hurry it up? I have an appointment to get my nails done. Soi: And I have to get back to Nakago. If he finds the pixie stick cellar.... Nakago: WOOOH BABY! Soi: *sweatdrop* Never mind... Tomo: Well don't look at me. I'M not going to clean up the mess. Horeinty: All right. I'll use my power. Er... what is my power? Besides looking good? Tama-neko: Moon Tiara Action. Horenity: Moon Bucket Hat Action! (Horenity throws bucket hat which sends Miboshi flying end over end into a pack of roving Nyan-nyans.) Nyan-nyan 1: Oh! He kawaii! We keep! We take! Nyan-nyan 2: We feed lots of sugar! Miboshi: PUT ME DOWN YOU HYPERACTIVE BRATS! Nyan-nyan 3: We fix bad attitude. Nyan-nyan 4: We cure bad attitude. Nyan-nyan 1-435: WE FIX! WE CURE! WE NYAN-NYAN! Mercury: Attack? Me? I get an attack?! Maybe this won't be so bad! Mercury Bubbles Blast! Tomo: Oh look Soi. We're surrounded by fog. *yawns.* Soi: Terrifying... *files nails* Mercury: Nani?! This isn't FAIR! HOW COME I HAVE TO ATTACK WITH BUBBLES?! (The sound of Nyan-nyans are heard in the distance.) Dr. Mitsukake: 0_0 No! Stay out of my house! Stay out! OUT! *runs offscreen* Mars: I'M GONNA END THIS #)$(% FIGHT SO I DON'T HAVE TO BE #)%(#)( FEMALE ANYMORE! RRRREEKKA... er... MARS FIRE... Jupiter: YOU! Mars: HEY! DON'T STEP ON MY LINES! Subotuff: Uh-oh. Subotuff: Hide me. Amipuff: *is getting ready to play his flute* Nani? Jupiter: JUPITER THUNDER CLAP.... (Amipuff inhales his flute.) Jupiter: ZAP! Mars: MARS FIRE #)%(# IGNITE! (The fire knocks Tomo back. In fact, it's so forceful it knocks him back in time in a place far far away. He lands with a thud on something that looks like a portable white trash can. The trash can bleeps and a image begins to play.) Image: Help us Tomo-wan Kenobie... you're our only hope.... Tomo: Shut up. *faints* Soi: Not that I particularly CARE for Tomo but he WAS* my partner. So now I'm going to have to kill you. Holds up a ball of lightning in her hand. Nakago: NO! *jumps in front of Tasuki* YOU WILL NOT HURT MY LOVE! ALL: NANI?!?!!? Tamahome: Somethin' you aren't telling us Fang-boy? Tasuki: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE #)$#%($ HE'S TALKIN' ABOUT! Soi: But... but Nakago-sama... Nakago: You will not hurt him! Tasuki and me are destined to be together.... Tasuki: THE HELL ARE YOU #)#(% TALKIN' ABOUT?!?!! I DON'T EVEN #)#$(% LIKE YOU! (Nakago blows Soi away with a chi blast. She flies through the air to another section of China and lands in a spring.) Chinese Man: Ah. You land in cursed Jusenkuyo spring. Very sad story about a monk who drowned here many year ago. Soi: M... monk no da? Ryouga: Excuse me... but do you know the way to Furinkhan High? Soi: Itai no da... *collapses* Tasuki: GET OFFA ME YA #)%#) PERVERT! Nuriko: Yeah get off of him! *boots Nakago into orbit* Tasuki: Thanks... Nuriko: *purrs* Anything for you Tasuki-sama... Tasuki: 0__0! $()%($! YOU TOO? Chichiri: No! Tasuki's MINE* no da! Nuriko: I saw him first! Chichiri: Hai! But I'm BETTER no da! Nuriko: What have you got that I don't? Chichiri: I'm ALIVE no da. Tamahome: *smirk* He's got you there. Tasuki: YOU STAY THE #)$%(%@# OUT OF THIS OBAKE -CHAN! Nakago: *lands* NO! I WON'T LET YOU HAVE HIM! Chichiri: HE'S MINE NO DAAAA!!! Tamahome: Well...he IS kind of cute.... Hotohori: And sensitive besides.... Tasuki: #(%#(~! SOMEBODY GET ME THE @)#$(#% OUT OF HERE! IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE! Tasuki fangirls 1-2018: TASSUKKIIIII-SAMAAAA! Tasuki: HELP! I'M GONNA HAVE A (#)%# ANEURYSM IN A MOMENT!!!!! Hotohori: What's an aneurysm? Tamahome: I don't know...ask Chiriko. Chiriko: eh heh heh heh *begins forming at the mouth* Let me introduce you boys to something called. SUDDEN DEATH! ~~~~~ Hotohori: *blink blink* *puts down fic* *dies* That was... amusing to say the least. I can't really say all that much about the spelling or grammar usage. It was... interesting. Mitsukake: *snrk* It was funny! I didn't get much of a speaking part but I'm glad I didn't! Chichiri: It... it was scarring no da. Itai... Chiriko: *LoL* I like the ending. Tasuki: I could have done without the )#$(%# ending! *twitch* Tamahome: Hee hee... it was worth it just to see Fang-boys face. Nuriko: ^_^; eh... intresting... I'll give it that much. ~~~~~ Chichiri is now enters the chat room. Mitsukake: Konnichiwa Chichiri... are you feeling any better? Chichiri: A little no da. I'm still having nightmares... no pun intended. *twitch* Chiriko: looks up & waves to Chichiri *goes back to reading* *snickers* What's a phaser... hee hee...I love it. Chichiri: I don't think I'll hang around long no da. I need to get some more sleep after THAT na no da. Moonsong: Wait! Chichiri you can't go out there! Chichiri: Nani no da? Moonsong: You need a space suit! *holds up a jacket with very long sleeves* Chichiri is now known as ChichiriSD ChichiriSD: Help me no da! ~Fin~ Copyright © June 2000 by Night~Mare. All Rights Reserved. "Moonsong" and some of the seishi characterizations are based on the characters at the "Suzaku Seishi Fanfiction Review:" http://www.crosswinds.net/~seishifanfiction