Suzaku Seishi Fan Fiction Review: Before The Dawn

Before The Dawn
Author: Raye Johnsen
Email: raye_j@yahoo.com
Warnings: Spoilers for Episode 48; Yuri. But not really.
Type: canon, drama, reflective

Tasuki:
This, was unexpected. I figured it out before I got to the end because of the description. Bwahahahha! One seishi fits them better than the others.
*taps his temple with a finger and winks* Smart, ne?
This actually made you pause for a moment, and wonder if it could have been true. With "His" past, and the obvious thing about Houki, I wonder how "He" really felt about her. And as always, it's good to see Houki fics. She's very under appreciated. No grammar or punctuation problems either.
The only thing I might have added is a flashback scene, with conversation or actions between the two, as it left me with a nagging feeling that something was missing.
Err...how do I explain this...*scratches the back of his head* We have a Who("Him"), a What(Fascination), a When(Before and during the series), a Where(Konan Palace), and a Why ("He" was fascinating), but no How (What did "He" do that drew and kept her attention?). If that makes any sense.
Of course... that's just MY opinion. *shrugs*

Mitsukake:
Hmm...Why did this fic have a yuri warning? Odd.
In keeping with the author's request, I'll give as detailed a review as I possibly can.
First off, perhaps a little more dialouge-spoken, that is-would have added feeling to it. As it was, we hear plenty about her feelings, but not really any...proof? power? emotion? Chiriko is the resident genius, he can probably come up with the word I'm trying to think of. -_-
It also feels...not unresolved, no, but maybe incomplete. The story seems to be missing the important middle, what some English teachers call the "body" of the story. (I think. @_@) Some flashbacks, dialouge, remembrance of past events, something to help flesh out the story would help greatly.
However, what the fic DOES have is a great concept with a very underrated character in a new light. And *that* is a wonderful beginning-I think that, with a little work, this could become an amazing piece of fiction. I certainly hope any new revisions get sent to us-I'd love to see it!

Chichiri:
Yes, this is a very good fic no da, rather light reading and it has a nice romantic air to read after one has gone thru a few more fics that are a bit...violent no da? It does have a feel of incompleteness, almost to the point of being vague, but I think that simply adds to the piece. The ending is very unexpected and well-done and I too would love to see this again if any revisions are made na no da! And Tasuki-kun? You figured the ending out? Very good no da! I am proud of you. Of course one must remember the old saying "Even a blind pig locates an acorn once in a while' no da!

Nuriko:
Not sure why there was a yuri warning on this one... unless Houki had found herself falling in love with him before his true identity was revealed. Could that be it? I'm afraid to say too much here for fear of ruining it for others, but I'll do my best to give the kind of feedback you want, Raye!
I have to side with the others here when I say that something just wasn't quite there... something was missing. I'm not able to put my finger on it, perhaps a bit more of how she fell for him, why he caught her eye, especially since most 'well-bred' women wouldn't be caught dead falling for such a trouble-maker. *Innocent Look*
Some parts were a bit confusing, especially when she started talking about them both... I almost got lost at one point, and had to reread it to make certain who I should have in my head at that moment. It didn't happen but the once, though, and it only lasted a short bit. Overall, it was a wonderfully done fic and if there are any revisions in the future, I'd *really* like to know about it!
*Bows gracefully* Oyasumi...

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