Suzaku Seishi Fan Fiction Review: Chiriko's Education

Chiriko's Education
Author: Ai-chan
Email: suboshi_no_aijin@hotmail.com
Warnings: Chiriko is actually Chiriko in this...it's not Amiboshi. Another thing, someone, like Tasuki, Tamahome or Chichiri might want to restrain Chiriko from either killing himself off hurting someone else after reading this. (It involves Soi)
Type: drama/A.U. (in the case of Chiriko - dark horror/one hell of a nightmare)

Tasuki:
*blinks at the fic and glances at Chiriko to look for signs that he has read the fic already*
*sneaks around the corner* It was very interesting and a quite...suprising. Yes, I believe we will have to carefully watch the squirt and Nuriko better be on hand to restrain him when he reads this.
It had the common cold of all fics, grammar and punctuation errors. But nothing really bad. I'm sure no one has ever written Soi like this... or Chiriko like this for that matter!
They were both rather well in character, though Chiriko surprised me at the end, the little horndog....*cackles*
*sweatdrops to hear a bell ringing and sees Mits' goat peek around the corner*
GOOOOOOAAATTTTT!!! *screams and bursts right through a sliding paper door*

Chichiri:
There's that annoying background again no da!
Well, this was an interesting fic, one of those 'What-Would-Happen-If..?' A surprise pairing at any rate, I would never have thot of Chiriko with Soi at all no da! (I think I would have taught him better than that na no da!) They do stay well in character, and I guess if any 16-year-old would find himself in such a position, he would react the same. Mits, you have to do something about that goat no da!!

Mitsukake:
*sigh* For the last time, there IS NO-
*goat races past*
-_- I'm not even getting into this.
Anyway, the fic was alright. As always, originality wins big points with me-and it just does NOT get much more original than this. ^_^
It might have been a good idea to double-space between each paragraph. Not always a requirement, but it does make it easier to read. And like Tasuki-san said, there were some grammar/spelling/punctuation errors, but nothing a good spellcheck or beta-reader won't fix.
I'm not entirely sure what my opinion is on the ending. (Chichiri is right, though. 16-year-olds would tend to react that way, even with a former enemy, I suppose.) I *do* know, however, that Chiriko may or may not have a heart attack after reading this...Which means more work for me...

Nuriko:
Hooooooo boy. *Sets down the fic and glances towards Chiriko, then slips out of earshot.* This was was definately... interesting. There were some spelling errors and such, but I agree with Mitsukake that it's nothing a spellcheck and beta-reader can't cure. I had a bit of a problem with the concept of Chiriko and Soi together... I mean of all the pairings I could think of, that was the farthest from my mind. What I'd like to see, however, is a possible lead-up to this one. One has to assume from the fic itself that Miaka and Yui had already been to this world and had summoned the god/gods. However, it looks like pretty much everyone survived. I'd be interested in finding out how the story progressed to this point.
*Slips back into the room and covertly stands behind Chiriko, waiting for the reaction.* Go for it... I'll hold him down.

Hotohori:
*blinks, then blinks again* This was...interesting, to say the least. There were a few grammer/punctuation mistakes, as Tasuki and Mitsukake have already noted, but they really didn't distract from the story. It certainly was original, which gave it many points in my mind. However, it didn't really do anything for me emotionally. I can't wait to read more by you, Ai-chan.
*chuckles softly* I have to wonder what Chiriko thinks of this...

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