Suzaku Seishi Fan Fiction Review: Of Foxes and Phoenixes (Prologue

Of Foxes and Phoenixes (Prologue - Ch2)
Author: Lady Shinnite
Email: silverwave_torrent@hotmail.com
Warnings: A little gory in the prologue
Type: Angst/Supernatural/Darkfic

Nuriko:
*Scratches his head for a moment.*
Well... the prologue was very graphic. Almost uncomfortably so, but rather well written. There were some grammar errors, but nothing overly detracting from the story. I wasn't able to read the second part because of the headache I got from reading yellow text on a red background, and therefore couldn't read the third because I was clueless as to what had happened previously.
My advice: Stick with one colour scheme for the chapters, and make sure it's not bound to make one's eyes cross when they read it. Once I'm able to get through all three, I'll be able to give a full review...
But for now, I'm afraid I have to decline.

Tasuki:
I have to agree with Nuriko on the color scheme for the webpages. Yellow doesn't go well with a red background. The white on blue for chapter 2 was much better.
Another thin' was trying to figure out how this fit into our world other than usin' the name Suzaku. Other than that, I didn't see even a resemblance ta our world. Konan wasn't even named Konan.
The prologue was well written, the horror of war and destruction in full color and surround sound, the focus on tiny details and separate bodies a good way to make the carnage that much more painful to imagine.
But this is an original work, with Suzaku's name used is all.

Chichiri:
Ow! That red gave me a headache no da! Please watch it with color schemes. It's all right for backgrounds with pictures but not for text!
The beginning certainly was gory no da, thanks for the warning! But as for the rest of it, it left me confused. Suzaku is a god and thereby supposedly immortal, so how could his family (and him) be killed no da? It does make for an interesting story but as Tasuki mentioned, the only thing connecting it with FY is the name Suzaku.
Hmmm, perhaps as the plot develops along no da. *scratches head*

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